If you see me talking to myself just move along shirt

During our relationship i didn’t know about narcissism or If you see me talking to myself just move along shirt disorders, I knew the way he treated me wasn’t right but blamed myself for his behaviour. I know now that i was conditioned to do so and was trauma bonded to him, i tried to leave the relationship many times but was “hoovered” back with empty words, false promises, apologises, declarations of love and gifts. After leaving him for good he would contact me to put me down and say hurtful things to get a reaction. I’d play into his hands by reacting emotionally, Couldn’t understand why he never felt any remorse for the way he treated me but instead hated me for walking away. I couldn’t understand why he wanted to continue to hurt me!
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